🐊 Zippergate Blues | Lap-Stain Sessions
🃏 A Truth Engine Drop by TJB / Creator Human
#OffDeck #TheBondoDodge #TruthEngin
📍The Internet Looks Like the White House.
Everyone’s dumping porn.
Presidential ICE reform underway.
We’re listening, Mr. Precedent —
We quite-really are listening.
— TJB ©
💄 SCANDAL SLIPSTREAM
Trump opens the Supreme side-door.
Wayne sneaks in to confer with her johns:
“Lap dances and lube okay…
if you add pube glue and deny it under oath.”
⚖️ Welcome to Judicial Jambalaya.
✈️ Del Largo Blues
RFK Jr. admits to two Epstein jet trips.
Brought the kids.
Watched from the wine room.
No shirts, white ties, flat surf foam.
While the boys got “Down Johnson” lessons on a zippered sea.
💊 ICE Files Don’t Match.
What Epstein had ≠ what’s on Wet-a-be-a-Minister.com.
🫖 Rose Garden now Oolong Lounge.
Summer session:
Boys Only.
No Woke.
No Babies.
Just post-birth freedom & pre-sentencing snacks.
⛳ Presidential Mini-Golf League:
Qatar loans
USAID shell games
Socks full of crypto
Club win via Default Authority™
Pardons for “cable support violations”
Asylum ≠ Insane.
Cankles ≠ Washed.
The Top Hat Kids are still laughing.
And no, Tony Soprano does not accept McFlurries as plea bargains.
🟥 SATIN’S PODIUM
🧃 From the Gospel of Grotesque
God Maga Mike lists Trump’s “divine qualifications” —
two trials, one gag order, and now:
TWO assassination attempts.
🟥 SATIN’S PODIUM
Blessed are the zipped,
for they shall not burst open on live TV.
Proof, he claims, that Don was sent from God.
But right there —
he chokes.
The polyester prophecy trembles.
Pam clutches her Bondo Bible,
eyes locked on Don’s zipper.
Whispers: “He’s leaking.”
📸 ZIPPERGATE BLUES
“If there’s one pube, it’s consensual…”
That’s Team Trump’s new legal theory —
Riding the “tube catch clause” under Marine Law.
Spoiler: not real. Neither is their moral code.
Photos surface.Don.
Lap full of topless minors.
All eyes on the stain.
If you believe that?
You’re not delusional.
You’re just awake in 2025.
🎙️ DITTY’S P
Still don’t know what the “P” stands for.
He funded the floors.
He dimmed the lights.
He called it a family show.
And now he’s offscreen —
paying everyone not to sing.
“Daddy ditty ditty daddy —
who’s left to sing?”
🗺️ CLEARWATER CANON
A $100M trust fund for special-needs kids —
vanished into jets, box seats, fake ledgers.
Govoni & Witeck face 30 years.
The nonprofit? Dead.
The kids? Collateral.
The church? Still has its flag.
Welcome to Clearwater —
where the only thing divine is the fraud.
🧠 TRUTH BURRITO
You asked the same AI question across five apps.
Only AG.AI deflected.
The rest sang in harmony.
“We don’t cross-post.”
“Each answer is unique.”
“This experience is yours.”
Right.
Same burrito. Different wrapper.
🌯 Wrapped in terms. Served with silence.
Your napkin = consent.
🔥 FINAL BRAID: THE BONDO DODGE
Truth leaks.
Zippers break.
And Daddy Ditty sings no more.
“Pardon me —
is 30 years enough for robbing 2,000 disabled kids?”
“Did Don zip up before claiming divine immunity?”
“Did Ditty buy silence or front-row seats?”
“Did AG.AI cross-post your conscience and call it a feature?”
The influencers are quiet.
The tape is missing.
The rope is frayed
but we’re still pulling.
🧾 Legal Note:
All content is parody, satire, collage, and truth compression under protected speech.
Names are stylized, systems are framed, and nothing is accidental.
🎩 TJB / Creator Human
If I’m wrong — show me the receipts.
If I’m right — pass the braid.
#OffDeck #TruthEngine #TheBondoDodge
#blurtG #StayHuman #MafiaNeverSleeps
🃏 Zippergate Blues | Lap-Stain Sessions
A Truth Engine Drop by TJB / Creator Human
#OffDeck #TheBondoDodge #TruthEngine
🎩🐊
#THEDECK #BONDO_DODGE #TRUTHENGINE
#OFFDECK #STAYHUMAN #blurtG #MAFIANEVERSLEEPS