đ¸ THE WHITE HOUSE LAWN (CANCELLED)
OFF DECK | CreatorHuman ⢠TJB
đ¸ THE WHITE HOUSE LAWN (CANCELLED)
A satirical lyric-note for Argentina sequence
Verse 1
They planned a show on the White House lawn,
a little sunshine, a little song.
But the ground gave way where the truth was gone â
too many storms, too many cons.
Chorus
So we shipped the music offshore,
down past the buoys where the currents roar.
Argentina knows that tune by heart â
deep waterâs where the real stories start.
Verse 2
Seventy souls in the rolling blue,
another headline nobody knew.
Different ocean, same old play â
what power hides, the tide displays.
Bridge
They said unforeseen damage,
but everybody knows the script:
when the land canât hold the cover-ups,
the sea becomes the crypt.
Chorus Reprise
So the White House lawn got canceled,
and the band packed up at dawn.
But the ocean carried the melody â
singing truths the land moved on.
Tag
From D.C. grass to the Argentine deep,
corruption always finds the water
when it doesnât want to keep.
â The Epstein Pattern â The Argentina Pattern Satire Version
Some scandals hide bodies.
Other scandals hide budgets.
But the playbook is always the same:
push the story offshore, drown it in salt water,
and pray the public forgets before the tide rolls back in.
Epsteinâs world = private islands, offshore secrecy, too many unanswered questions.
Argentinaâs fishing tragedy = far-off waters, no oversight, chaos in international zones.
The satire writes itself:
Whether itâs an island with too many billionaires
or a fishing vessel with too few life rafts,
the moral of the story is the same:
when you outsource ethics to international waters,
people go missing â truth included.
đĽ The Tagline That Does the Work For You
When the government closed, the ring opened.
And every senator who wrestled the bill ended up pinned by the truth.
đ THE WRESTLING MATCH THEY CALLED KILL BILL
Because they tried to kill the bill⌠and accidentally body-slammed themselves instead.
When the government shut down and the lights went dark,
Washington turned into the worldâs saddest pay-per-view event:
đ MIDNIGHT MANIA â featuring the 12 Senators of the Shadow Tag-Team.
They crept into the ring quietly, thinking nobody was watching.
But the mats squeaked. Cameras hummed. Receipts remembered.
The move they attempted?
A classic heel tactic: The Midnight Flip â
a maneuver where senators try to slide a little self-care package into a bill
while the refs (the American public) are home eating leftovers.
ExceptâŚ
they forgot the first rule of political wrestling:
You canât kill the bill when the Truth Engine is already ringing the bell.
So what was supposed to be a sneaky $5M thank-you package to ourselves
for a job we didnât do
turned into the loudest flop of the season.
A full-on turnbuckle face-plant.
Because whatâs worse than getting caught?
Getting caught when the audience didnât even buy tickets â
they just walked by the arena and heard the thud.
Now the crowd is chanting:
KILL BILL! KILL BILL!
but the bad version â the one Quentin Tarantino wouldnât film
And the 12 senators limped back to their locker room
covered not in victory
but in their own paperwork.
Schumer Salute â written as a satire of power dynamics, not of personal wrongdoing.
đŠ THE SCHUMER SALUTEâ˘
A Truth Engine cultural gesture for moments when leadership holds the billâs hand instead of holding the line.
In the Midnight Wrestling Match known as KILL BILL,
every senator came in with a move.
Some flipped.
Some flopped.
Some vanished into the locker room like smoke from a broken fog machine.
But then there was The Schumer Saluteâ˘
a gesture now immortalized in the Truth Engine Handbook of Political Yoga.
It goes like this:
Extend hand.
Not to the peopleâŚ
but to the bill quietly sliding across the table like a guilty raccoon.Half-smile of plausible deniability.
Not too much. Just enough to look like youâre âfacilitating.Lower voice to a soothing whisper:
Donât worry, sweetheart. Daddy will get you to committee.Pretend not to see the grift doing jazz hands in the corner.
And that, my friend,
is how the Schumer Salute became the official greeting
of the Iâm not touching corruption, Iâm just standing next to it caucus.
TruthEngine2550 | creatorhuman.com | TJB
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