🃏 Carousel Flow
1. Pam’s Lowrider Selfie
📸 Caption: “Pam’s Touch-Up: cruising the border, repainting the truth panel by panel.”
📝 Alt: Blonde woman in sunglasses takes a selfie while driving a blue lowrider with a mismatched panel labeled ‘Pam’s Touch-Up.’
2. Cult Ship Receipts Drift
📸 Caption: “Imagine that — the Cult Ship still drifting, receipts stacked in the ballroom.”
📝 Alt: Retro poster of a man gesturing at a sinking cruise ship labeled ‘Cult Ship,’ with inset photo of a cheering congregation. Text reads: ‘The Receipts Drift. Maggine That.’
3. McSwamp Card
📸 Caption: “Collect them all — fries, lies, and swamp ties.”
📝 Alt: Cartoon alligator in McDonald’s uniform holding fries, advertisement style text reads ‘McSwamp Card — Collect Them All.’
4. Winner Winner Chicken Dinner
📸 Caption: “Off Deck special: winner winner, indictment dinner.”
📝 Alt: Cartoon Trump in tuxedo holding a plate with roast chicken, text reads ‘Winner Winner Chicken Dinner — Off Deck.’
5. Drain the Swamp, Find Maggots
📸 Caption: “Turns out the swamp wasn’t empty — just crawling.”
📝 Alt: Cartoon Trump gives a thumbs up next to a giant maggot on swamp water. Poster text: ‘When he drained the swamp we found maggots. Off Deck.’
6. Q-Jet Security Check
📸 Caption: “Shoes off, files out — but the jet’s already airborne.”
📝 Alt: Airport security cartoon: officer directs people as labeled shoes (files, cash, kids) go through x-ray. Jet labeled ‘Q’ takes off outside. Poster text: ‘GBT TV Shoes-off, Files-out, Q-Charge Jet.’
This sat in my vault for months.
Sometimes satire writes itself before the headlines catch up.
Now it reads less like parody, more like prophecy.
What was once grotesque imagination is now… receipts in real time.
📍The Internet Looks Like the White House.
Everyone’s dumping porn.
Presidential ICE reform underway.
We’re listening, Mr. Precedent —
We quite-really are listening.
TJB ©
💄 SCANDAL SLIPSTREAM
Trump opens the Supreme side-door.
Wayne sneaks in to confer with her johns:
“Lap dances and lube okay…
if you add pube glue and deny it under oath.”
⚖️ Welcome to Judicial Jambalaya.
✈️ Del Largo Blues
RFK Jr. admits to two Epstein jet trips.
Brought the kids.
Watched from the wine room.
No shirts, white ties, flat surf foam.
While the boys got “Down Johnson” lessons on a zippered sea.
💊 ICE Files Don’t Match.
What Epstein had ≠ what’s on Wet-a-be-a-Minister.com.
🫖 Rose Garden now Oolong Lounge.
Summer session:
• Boys Only
• No Woke
• No Babies
• Just post-birth freedom & pre-sentencing snacks.
⛳ Presidential Mini-Golf League
• Qatar loans
• USAID shell games
• Socks full of crypto
• Club win via Default Authority™
• Pardons for “cable support violations”
Asylum ≠ Insane.
Cankles ≠ Washed.
The Top Hat Kids are still laughing.
And no, Tony Soprano does not accept McFlurries as plea bargains.
🟥 SATIN’S PODIUM
From the Gospel of Grotesque
God Maga Mike steps up.
Palm on Pam.
Pam on Palm Sundays.
Clutching a Bondo-bound Bible.
stitched from backseat vinyl and donor receipts.
His eye?
On Don’s zipper.
He lists the “atrocities that bind.
“He was betrayed.
He was tried.
He was nearly taken… twice.
Then the choke.
Right there — live, on podium.
Polyester prophecy ruptures.
Pam whispers:
“He’s leaking.”
Zippered Beatitudes:
Blessed are the impeached, for they shall inherit the airwaves.
Blessed are the zipped, for they shall not burst open on live TV.
Blessed are the almost-assassinated, for they shall fake ascension before arraignment.
📸 ZIPPERGATE BLUES
“If there’s one pube, it’s consensual…
That’s Team Trump’s new legal theory.
Riding the “tube catch clause” under Marine Law.
Spoiler: not a clause.
Also, not moral.
Photos surface:
Don.
Lap full of topless minors.
All eyes on the stain.
If you believe that?
You’re not delusional.
You’re just… awake in 2025.
🎙️ DITTY’S P
Still don’t know what the “P” stands for.
He funded the floors.
He dimmed the lights.
He called it a family show.
Now he’s offscreen —
paying everyone not to sing.
Daddy ditty ditty daddy — who’s left to sing?
🗺️ CLEARWATER CANON
$100M trust fund for special-needs kids — wiped out.
Jets, NFL boxes, fake paper trails.
The nonprofit? Bankrupt.
The kids? Collateral.
The grift? Structured, blessed, deregulated.
The church still has its flag.
The children don’t have trust.
Welcome to Clearwater.
🌯 TRUTH BURRITO
You asked a simple AI question across multiple apps.
Only one didn’t answer.
“We don’t cross-post.”
“Each answer is unique.”
“This is your experience.”
Yeah, okay.
Same burrito. Different wrapper.
Wrapped in terms. Served with silence.
You consented when you used the napkin.
🪡 THE BONDO DODGE
Truth leaks. Zippers break. And Daddy Ditty sings no more.
Pardon me —
Is 30 years enough for robbing 2,000 disabled kids?
Did Don zip up before claiming divine immunity?
Did Ditty buy silence or a seat up front?
Did AG.AI cross-post your conscience and call it a feature?
The influencers are quiet.
The tape is missing.
The rope is frayed —
but we’re still pulling.
TJB / Creator Human
📉 If this was satire, it wouldn’t still be happening.
📈 If I’m wrong — show me the receipts.
🎩🐊 If I’m right — pass the braid.
🧾 Receipts Drift | McSwamp Edition
Tagging back to Off Deck + Truth Engine threads.A Truth Engine Release by TJB / Creator Human