🎴 OFF DECK | MyPillow Limited Edition BYD Series
Diplomacy powered by sleep mode — and delivered by drone.
The MyPillow of a China Trip
When diplomacy turns into a nap, geopolitics becomes bedtime comedy.
The “MyPillow of a China Trip” began when Air Force One touched down in Beijing and the entire press pool mistook the event for a melatonin commercial.
Act I — The Gift Exchange
China unveiled a 400,000-gold BYD Presidential EV, pre-charged with 3 terabytes of kompromat and karaoke.
In return, the U.S. delegation offered a signed MyPillow, labeled Made Somewhere, Spiritually American.
Act II — The Silent Summit
The President spoke only once — to ask if the Wi-Fi could connect to Truth Social.
The interpreter confirmed it couldn’t.
Global peace briefly held.
Act III — The Wake
By the time the flight home began, the deal was already live on Alibaba under
Executive Edition: Limited Accountability Model.
The State Department called it a strong showing of sleep diplomacy.
While most presidents travel abroad to strengthen alliances, ours went for a nap in gold-plated silence.
The “Sleep Trip to China marks another proud entry in the ongoing chronicle of unearned applause — a state visit where the only signed agreement was a receipt for a $400,000 gold BYD Presidential EV and a promise to circle back on human rights once the battery charges.
The Math of Shadows
As America drifts on autopilot, the equation is simple:
billions lost, billions laundered, billions justified — and not one hungry family fed.
The only thing that grew faster than our deficit was the balance in his family trust.
Turns out the revolution wasn’t televised — it was itemized.
Proposed Satirical Policy
The REM Accord (Restorative Economic Management Act)
All heads of state must log eight hours of televised rest per 24-hour news cycle.
Economic summits must include mandatory pillow-testing segments.
National security briefings will be replaced with bedtime stories narrated by AI.
Any act of treason committed while asleep will be reclassified as “unconscious collaboration.”
Policy Proposal: The Golden Exchange Act (Satirical Draft)
Section 1: Purpose
To advance international comedy and restore balance to the absurdity gap between nations.
Section 2: Exchange of Excess Presidents
Upon confirmation of extended sleep cycles, the United States shall temporarily loan its president to the People’s Republic of China in exchange for one (1) gold-plated BYD Presidential EV and unlimited karaoke rights in Macau.
Section 3: AI Reciprocity Clause
Each AI chip provided to China must be accompanied by a handwritten tweet about “energy independence” and a framed photo of the donor asleep at a summit.
Section 4: Transparency & Optics
All state dinners shall be streamed exclusively on TikTok under the category #UnverifiedDiplomacy.
No American officials may consume duck-based entrées without prior approval from Fox News.
Section 5: Accountability
Any U.S. citizen attempting to question the deal shall be redirected to the Department of Deniability, where oxybenzones and plausible deniability will be evenly applied as protective SPF.
🎭 OFF DECK | The MyPillow of a China Trip
Truth Engine™ | Project 2550 Special Edition
By T.J. Baden | CreatorHumanTags:
#Project2550 #TruthEngine #DisinfoSatire #SleepDiplomacy #StayHuman #EconomicJustice
Disclaimer:
This content is satirical disinformation, designed as political parody for educational and artistic commentary under Truth Engine™ | Project 2550.
No real diplomatic exchanges, bribes, or AI chip deals occurred. The absurdity is the point.
Diplomacy powered by sleep mode — and delivered by drone.