OFF DECK | CARTS ON ICE ARE MURDEROUS
TRUTH ENGINE 2550 | NAMING THE COVER-UP AND MAKEUP ECONOMY
Covering the Cover-Ups
Musking, Palantir-ing, Vance-ing, and de-Trumping plans come and go. From gothic eyeliner to traditional orange, the aesthetic shifts, but the performance stays the same. The costume changes; the script doesn’t.
🧊 THE MISSING PIECE: ICE ON THE FAIRWAY
Here’s the connective tissue you felt but hadn’t placed yet.
ICE isn’t enforcement here. ICE is cleanup.
They retrieve:
• the errant balls
• the footage that doesn’t quite line up
• the witnesses who saw the foot move
• the receipts before anyone asks
They don’t stop the game.
They keep it playable.
Every ball that goes out of bounds gets quietly brought back into the narrative. Every illusion protected so the scoreboard still looks patriotic.
When the Course Becomes the Argument
Climate change has been reframed as a hoax on the right, sustained by culture-war theatrics that sexualize, racialize, and radicalize the issue until it lingers as noise rather than policy.
On the left, the response too often arrives as flat moral performance, more chant than strategy. The result isn’t leadership. It’s cross-wind. A chorus with no harmony, played over a game that keeps moving.
In golf terms: one side denies the weather while the other sings into it. The ball still rolls.
“YOU’RE FIRED”: A BRIEF HISTORY OF MORAL BANKRUPTCY
We are watching power migrate from public institutions to private systems that were never designed to govern, only to scale.
When markets reward volatility, subsidies shield concentration, and infrastructure becomes opaque, trust erodes not because people are irrational, but because accountability disappears.
An economy that depends on distraction, extraction, and permanent crisis isn’t resilient. It’s brittle.
The question isn’t left vs right. It’s whether governance can reassert legitimacy inside a system that increasingly treats chaos as a feature.
⛳️ LIVE FROM THE ROUGH: THE PRESIDENTIAL OPEN
Announcer Voice, Calm but Concerned:
“Welcome back folks. We’re entering the back nine of American governance, where the ball keeps moving… even when no one admits to hitting it.”
FRAME 1: Drone-Assisted Putting
Deep-seeking a putt. When fair play gets replaced by drone relay.
“Officials confirm the ball briefly left reality, but was recovered mid-air by a privately owned drone. No penalty assessed. Play continues.”
FRAME 2: Broken String Blues
When you break a string… break a string™ No. 1 in golf.
“That’s frustration on the green, Jim. When your swing breaks physics, you switch instruments. Still counts as a stroke if the crowd applauds.”
FRAME 3: Ice Cream Tacos
Ice cream tacos for all his screams.
“And there’s the concession cart. Ice cream tacos issued to calm the tantrum. Sources say the ball was retrieved by ICE after it crossed jurisdictional boundaries.”
FRAME 4: Golfing X-Files Coin
Golfing X Files.
“This is where the footage cuts out. The ball disappears. Records sealed. Witnesses say it was kicked into the cup while everyone was distracted by the noise.”
FRAME 5: The Flag Shot
USA flag, foot poised.
“Ladies and gentlemen, that’s not a putt. That’s a nudge. Completely legal under the new rules of personal branding.”
FRAME 6: Cat Rain Cart
Predictively Creative.
“And here comes weather. Not rain. Cats. Thousands of them. No one remembers ordering this, but it’s trending, so it must be normal.”
Every ball that goes out of bounds gets quietly brought back into the narrative. Every illusion protected so the scoreboard still looks patriotic.
🏌️♂️ FINAL SCORECARD
• Time spent golfing: Classified
• Cost to taxpayers: “Under review”
• Brand damage: Ongoing
• Reality integrity: Weather-dependent
Winner: The illusion
Loser: Fair play
Audience: Still clapping, still paying
If we froze the algorithm and unplugged the funnel, this whole carnival would collapse like a pop-up tent in real wind—say, a windmill blocking a presidential view.
But until then?
We document.
We caption.
We let the images leak the truth.
Lemonaiders don’t shout.
They pour slowly and let people taste it. 🍋
TJ Baden CreatorHuman ™ Say their Names
